Fighting Age, Gracefully
I don’t remember much of the movie” Thorn Birds” I do remember one particular scene, pertaining to age, as it spoke to me, even as a teenager. The line shared by Mary Carson (played by Barbara Stanwyck) as she replied to Ralph de Bricassart (played by Richard Chamberlin) on the stairs, was so gracefully delivered. She had been in love with Father Ralph, but always fighting those feelings and shared her thoughts on aging.
“Well, Father de Bricassart, let me tell you something. Inside this stupid body I’m still young—I still feel, I still want, I still dream, I still kick up my heels and chafe at restrictions like my body. Old age is the bitterest vengeance our vengeful God inflicts upon us. Why doesn’t He age our minds as well?””
As I grow older I remember this line, as the time continues ticking. I remember it as age works its evil magic on my physical form, yet I still feel, inside, the same young girl I’ve always been. Recently, I turned 50, I felt emotionally fine and would tell you so if you asked. Yet somewhere, secretly hiding inside me, was sadness in saying goodbye to my spirited youth while welcoming in a new sage spirit.
Nobody wants to be old, at least I don’t think they do, being old is part of life and if you are lucky enough, you get to experience it. I’ve taken good care of my physical form and in return it seems to be behaving very well. I won’t complain about aging as there are benefits, one being retirement. We dream about it during our working years. All I hope for is to be in my right mind and be able to physically enjoy my non-working years; this is why I continue to take good care of both my physical and mental self.
Still, I feel the same inside as I did when I was a girl so many years ago. I have to remind myself that I’m no longer a youngster, as I toil away in the gardens and find myself a bit more stiff and sore than in years past or struggle finding ways to cover signs of aging.
Last night I heard a song I’d heard many times before, this time however, it brought tears to my eyes as I heard the words.
Bonnie Raitt’s Nick of Time:
“…I see my folks are getting on
And I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
And it makes us both feel strange
No matter how you tell yourself
It’s what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they’re staring back at you..”
I’m not ready for this but have no choice, time stops for nobody and certainly won’t stop for me. My only choice is to be sure to make the best of my journey and hopefully be graceful, fit, and healthy into my golden years..
you said it, what’s ahead is scary but there’s no going back and you’re lucky to get there..
It is scary, Just like getting on a fair ride when the do that last safety check and you hear the gears engage. That moment when you just want to holler stop, you’ve changed your mind.. I want to go back, but there is no turning back.. 50, at this moment in time, is where you are chugging along higher and higher, about to go over that first drop..
Yay! I can leave comments now. Of course, I don’t remember my comment from earlier. I’m sure it was witty and insightful, though. haha.
I’m happy that the comment section was a quick fix, but sorry that your first thoughts couldn’t be saved.. Still, thank you for making a second attempt.
Hi Janet — what’s funny is that every time I exercise or have a brown spot lasered off my face I think, oh I’ll look really great after this. As if my body will be constantly improving rather than the inevitable aging. Denial can be a good thing?
We certainly try to do our best to keep ourselves looking great, gravity sucks, denial rocks..
I don’t know how you remembered that line, but oh, the Thorn Birds! I feel like I’m in the minority because aging doesn’t bother me. But it does amaze me, as in “how did I get here” and “OMG, look at how much I can now see looking back” and also, of course, my friends are starting to make their transitions, which is heartbreaking and the only thing that really bothers me. Oh, that, and the holes in my memory. Wait a minute, what was I saying? LOL
Whenever I think about aging, I remember that moment as it had a huge impact on me. I think it was that moment when I realized how the aging process worked, so it had a huge impact on me.
Great post! I know what you mean – it’s so hard when you’re body won’t do what your mind remembers it used to! Although I’m not thrilled about getting older, I’m so happy to still be here.
Yes, the thought of growing older isn’t very nice, the alternative is worse however..
Movies and songs explain what we feel but until it happens it just seems to be words.
Yes, there are songs I just can’t hear, without becoming overly emotional.
I completely relate to that Thorn Bird quote. I’m sure it will be even more relatable as I get older. So far, my body has been holding up pretty well and has not betrayed me in too many ways, though I know the day is coming. I guess that I’ll just have to keep up the “maintenance” the best way I can. 😉
I have been aging on camera at an Atlanta TV station for 15 years. It’s getting harder and harder. I admire you writing a blog post about it, I’m not there yet.
I’ve been struggling with admitting my age and I’m not on camera. You’re aging well. If you were to come out about your age, I hope you’d be an inspiration to your followers that age is but a number.
Great post. The song brought tears to my eyes, also. Part of the pain in seeing our parents age is seeing ourselves age. I used think they were shrinking, but now as I look at my own tall, healthy full grown kids, I see my reflection in their eyes, and realize that I am shrinking too.
I can’t listen to cats in the cradle either.
Oh, how I remember The Thorn Birds. It was the most risqué movie I’d seen up to that point in my life and I felt so grownup watching it. I remember that scene/line and it didn’t have an impact on me because I was young enough to think I wouldn’t age…that happened to other people, to old people. Ha! I waffle on how I feel about aging. Sometimes I like it because I feel like the older I get the closer I come to being the best I can be. Then I do something incredibly stupid and hurtful to everyone around me, and I’m right back to being that young girl who doesn’t think life applies to her and she can avoid the consequences of her choices. *facepalm* I guess that shows me that no matter how old we get we always have something to learn, we’re never fully formed enough to take our fingers off the reset button for good. And Iearning is what keeps me young, keeps me inquisitive and full of wonder. And that’s a good thing.
I love your outlook and the thought that no matter how old we get we always have something to learn, that is so true. Also, you are never too old to learn something new; mentally or physically..