I’ve spent the last year spending as much time as possible with my mother. Mom’s gone now and my heart is broken, she passed 9 weeks ago. Her passing was a shock in the moment, in hindsight I can see my head was in the sand. She had been struggling for some time but always rebounded, I should have seen the signs of major organ failure but didn’t want to.
Mom turned 80 last year, two big things happened leading up to her birthday party, which was planned by her oldest grand-daughter. First: her children reconnected, some of which hadn’t spoken in over ten years. Second: we had a beautiful birthday party with all her family and friends. Looking back, I’m so glad we were able to give that to our mother before she become to sick.
Immediately after her 80th birthday, she was admitted to the hospital with COPD and congestive heart failure. Oddly enough, this forced us, her daughters, to get along and work together in her care. Unfortunately, my sister had a planned trip that was just a week-long, reportedly. I continued to care for mom in her house until my sister returned from vacation three and half weeks later.
During this time I decided it would be good to study for a Health Coach certification to better assist her: I passed in October 2017.
I’m so glad to have spent that time with my mother last year; it was very special and something I’ll treasure forever. Mom and I were very close, she called me when she was under stress, many times telling me I was her confidant, helping her with her emotional struggles. She told me things that sometimes hurt and confused me but mostly things to help her. The weeks I spent with her were no different as she shared more and more as each day pressed on.
I still want to talk to her, tell her how much her great grand-daughter is growing and learning. Talk about our frustrations with various things and joys relating to spring and camping. As I move through life’s day-to-day tasks I get the urge to call and talk about so many things, share photos of the baby, and spring flowers.
Mom and Dad are together again, mom’s struggles and loneliness without him are no longer. In its place is the loneliness and struggles I go through as I move about my life without one of the most important person in my life.
Love you mom and miss you so much.
