Junk Food Junkie by Larry Groce

Lately we’ve been hearing a lot more of Junk Food Junkie by Larry Groce. So much so that I assumed it might be a new release.

Imagine my surprise when I see that Junk Food Junkie was written and sung back in 1976. Larry Groce reminds me of weird Al Yankovic  who was a very popular, parodistic songster. The song’s chorus is really the part that got me as we, in the health and fitness world, often will talk about walking the walk; not just talking the talk.

 

Yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

 

I mean really, how many of the healthy living people actually eat junk food in secret? Can you picture Tony Horton, of Beachbody P90X fame secretly tucked into his closet at night housing Oreo cookies by the sleeve, double stuff even!! Okay, I’ll admit Groce doesn’t mention the Oreo, but come on, you know he wanted to.

Larry’s song, “Junk Food Junkie,” could have been written for current times as it seems that the lyrics align to our current lifestyle. However, according to wikipedia Junk Food Junkie was written in 1976 and spent 15 weeks on the U.S. charts, reaching # 9 on the Billboard Top 100.^[1]

Even back when the whole health food movement came about, junk food was still addictive enough to write lyrics about hiding to eat it.

Imagine that, long before cigarettes were blacklisted, we shunned elements of junk food and the crucifixion of the twinkie began.

 

The lyrics are perfectly written for the times we currently live in; the song’s words according to oldielyrics piqued my curiosity. Reading them, I see many terms that could have been written just in the last few weeks; like Organic cooking, sea salt and not using white sugar. It is odd to think that macrobiotics were in vogue, even way back then.

What wasn’t in vogue was the internet, which makes hiding your junk food habit even more important NOW than it was in 1976.

You don’t want to be publicly shamed at fast food drive through with a skinny french fry in your mouth posted on all of social media. #shudder

Just to be sure, I've only eaten a Twinkie once or twice & vaguely remember Ring Dings. Oreos will always enslave me. Share on X

Most of us have met and tried Hostess Twinkies,  a few might remember the screams of fright when in 2012 they thought Twinkie manufacturing was ending production. (This created mayhem and the hoarding of the food stuff) Twinkies, of course, were created back in the ’30’s as banana cream filled snack cakes and never have been gone from store shelves; cue the collective sigh of relief.

 

You know I love that organic cooking
I always ask for more
And they call me Mr Natural
On down to the health food store
I only eat good sea salt
White sugar don’t touch my lips
And my friends is always begging me
To take them on macrobiotic trips
Yes, they are

Oh, but at night I stake out my strong box
That I keep under lock and key
And I take it off to my closet
Where nobody else can see
I open that door so slowly
Take a peek up north and south
Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie
And I pop it in my mouth

Yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

Well, at lunchtime you can always find me
At the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just sucking on my plain white yogurt
From my hand thrown pottery jar
And sippin’ a little hand pressed cider
With a carrot stick for dessert
And wiping my face in a natural way
On the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah

Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight
And I’m all by myself
I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf
And I pull out some Fritos corn chips
Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie
Then I sit back in glorious expectation
Of a genuine junk food high

Oh yeah, in the daytime I’m Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
Oh, but at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

My friends down at the commune
They think I’m pretty neat
Oh, I don’t know nothing about arts and crafts
But I give ’em all something to eat
I’m a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat home grown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn

Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do

Oh, folks but lately I have been spotted
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death
I’m afraid someday they’ll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I’m Mr Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I’m a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

Of all the things mentioned, which would be your favorite, the one that would break your natural food high? Hostess Twinkies, Fritos corn chips, Dr. Pepper, Moon Pie, Big Mac, Colonel Sanders, Pringles potato chips, and/or Ding Dongs? 

Come on, spill the beans and get your junk food stash outta hiding…

I apologize in advance if Junk Food Junkie gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day. If you’d like, I’ll share this post on Drink a Little Drink, Smoke a little Smoke to shake it out.

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