Regret, When you Get What you Asked For

There was a time when I wished I worked from home; no longer having to leave the warmth of my bed so early in the morning. I never really thought it would be an option until I hit retirement age, yet here I sit, no longer waking to an alarm.

I’ve been forced into early retirement as I can no longer drive for safety reasons.

The first time it happened, I remember waking up in the ambulance, the attendants asking if I knew where I was and how I got there. The second time I didn’t come to until I was in the Emergency Room. They were telling me I had yet another seizure, I knew and understood the process; I struggled to accept that it was happening to me.

I’ve spent a lifetime living as healthily as I could thinking my choices would lead to a long life void of prescription medicines. Initially it was hard for me to accept this was happening to me. It took two more episodes and an in-depth meeting with my doctor, before considering seizure medication.

The diagnoses was disappointing to me, things certainly could be worse. I’m lucky I have a supportive husband who is working with me to bridge the gap and find a new normal in our lives. I no longer work out of the home, instead I’ve been given what I had wished for and lost my independence in return.

My one regret is that I’ve become a burden to those in my life as they make changes to accommodate me. I regret that I’ve lost a sense of freedom to come and go on my own.

While seizures are a serious condition, it hasn’t stopped me from trying to find a new normal and routine. I’m still adjusting to the changes in my life, accepting that I need assistance with simple things.

 
Bridge